Today my mother and father would have been married for, hmmm, how many years is it now? This picture was taken at their 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration, and the renewing of their vows…it is a touching picture to me…I sat and looked at it some years later on the dresser when I’d sit next to my Dad’s bed when he was bedridden after suffering several strokes over a period of 5 years. It will be 5 years ago in October since Dad passed away, time passes quickly so it still seems like yesterday. I haven’t called my Mom yet, but I’m sure that the day hasn’t gone by without notice, and perhaps some tears. So this day, June 4th, is a special day, full of memories that are bittersweet now. My parents went through a lot, and their marriage is an example of commitment. Living out the words said at many weddings, “for better or for worse”. I thank them for that. Here is a picture of them on their wedding day:
I received an email the other day from a woman who was sharing about the recent passing of her father (the day after Christmas), and care-giving. I was able to relate as I remembered the passing of my Dad before the holidays four years ago. With his passing, and helping my Mom with the day to day things that he used to do (my sister more than any of us as she lives close by), the mind tends to realize that it won’t be long before we, too will be (hopefully) collecting social security, on Medicare, and thinking about things like medigap policies to help cover things Medicare doesn’t. You begin to educate yourself about things that you usually don’t want to take the time to think about.
Dad did the best he knew how to prepare for these things, and Mom, with a bit of help, has done a great job learning to do things she never had to do before as far as paying bills, handling medical papers, and so much more. I appreciate my parents, and am realizing that some old posts about my Dad and Mom have probably gotten “lost” in the blog over time, so let me give you some links to special posts about them done from as early as 2007 to the present:
Today as I hear the news about deploying missile destroyers to N. Korea, for some reason memories of the Cuban Missile Crisis came to mind…maybe it’s the news report today plus the fact that we watched a movie we love, “White Squall” this weekend, and in it there is mention of the Bay of Pigs and a confrontation with a Cuban ship. I guess that’s all coming together to remind me of those tense days in the early 1960′s.
Starting my life in the 1950′s meant that we were steeped in “cold war” thinking, and at least for me, I found myself wondering when the button would be pushed that would annihilate us all, yes, I know, sounds extreme, but being one who thinks a lot, the mind can go in so many places it probably would be best to avoid….especially for an impressionable child. I remember “air raid drills” when we were in school, interesting, because I attended a private school that used old, abandoned army barracks for classrooms…going out into the hallway and sitting along the cold, cinder block walls with our hands over our heads. That can strike fear in any child!
Of course we had television, but the radio was on all the time, and during the hourly news updates, I found myself sitting very close to it to hear what the latest report would be. I remember praying a lot, and keeping my Bible close, even at at school, after all, God is not something you can touch and hold, but His Word was something I could hold in my hands, the closest tangible connection, and brought great comfort. I also remember Mom reminding her sometimes-fearful child that God would take care of us, there was nothing to fear.
At times I think that the world is more dangerous than it was back then, but the truths that Mom shared are the same, and my source of comfort hasn’t changed.
Yesterday we had the family here at our home to celebrate and honor my Mother on her on her 80th birthday with food, fun and a lot of love. My brother said it best when he stated that “80 years ago today, on October 5th, 1928, the world became a better place because you were born”.
Before I get sentimental, and share some of the wonderful things about my Mom, let me share a few things things that happened the year of her birth:
March – Movie “Legion of the Condemned” with Gary Cooper opened on the 10th; there was record trading on Wall Street for the time on the 28th
May – the Electron Microscope was invented; Shakespear’s “The Tempest” opens on Broadway; General Electric starts a regular schedule of television programs out of WGY in Schenectady, NY
June – Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean.
July – Television sets go on sale for the first time; Warner Brothers releases the first feature length talking movie “The Lights of New York”
September – Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin
October – Joseph Stalin’s 5 year plan is announced; the German Graf Zeppelin dirigible comes to Lakehurst, NJ. BUT BEST EVENT OF ALL, my Mom is born.
November – Herbert Hoover is elected as President; Walt Disney’s “Steamboat Willy”, the first synchronized cartoon with Mickey Mouse in the “Star” role, opens at the Colony Theatre in New York City.
December -Boulder Dam Act approved by U.S. Congress, approving the construction of the dam in Nevada.
There’s just a bit of the history of the year of her birth, but let me tell you some of the things that I remember about my Mom that make her very special to me:
She is a woman of exceptionally strong faith.
I don’t remember a night in my childhood when she didn’t come in and pray with my brothers, sister and I before we went to bed, no matter how long the day had been or how tired she was.
Mom is strong, yet gentle.
She loves to garden, and still does, and always has something starting under her special plant lights.
She had the challenge of raising a multiply-disabled son right up until a few months ago when he moved into a group home. He was born when I was 12, with a brother and sister between he and I. It took some maturing on my part, a lot of it, to realize how hard it must have been to divide her attention among all of us when she was faced with such a challenge.
It was at my bedside after going to Vacation Bible School when I was just a toddler that I prayed with my Mom to receive Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I have found that I am never too old to learn some nugget of spiritual truth from my mother.
Mom has always loved feeding birds, and has always had a feeder full of seeds…or when we were young, a tray that we would fill and lay out in the yard, and watch as Mom identified each bird. When the Grackles were migrating by the hundreds, I remember her going out once with a LOT of bread, breaking it, and throwing it, and it was gone before much of it had a chance to hit the ground. Thanks to her, I, too, always have a feeder full of seeds hanging outside.
Mom never had a drivers license, and thanks to my father’s income and careful management of money, was able to stay at home and care for her children.
During the last 5 years of my father’s life, years in which he was taken from Mom and all of us due to a series of small strokes, Mom sacrificed herself and her back bending over him to care for him; helping him to and from wheel chair to bed; taking care of his personal needs…yes, we did have help come in, but Mom did a lot. Dad passed 11 days after her birthday a few years ago…her words when I brought her into the room after he had passed (a phone call kept her from his bedside) were “my lover is gone”.
Mom loves cats, she went from a woman who shot at them with a super-soaker when they came in the yard to stalk her birds at the feeder, to the owner of a series of cats, 3 of which she has today.
Mom allowed us to explore the world around us, allowing me to keep all sorts of creatures in cages, jars and aquariums in my room as long as I took good care of them, and allowing my brother to study creatures smaller than the eye can see at a young age through a microscope, which I am sure is the foundation for his being the Scientist he is today.
I could go on and on, she deserves so many accolades, and I don’t know how to put my love for her into words. She is a treasure beyond words! I love you, Mom.
Today I was listening to Sarah Palin speak in Iowa, and again she mentioned her desire to bring awareness to the unique challenges that those who have “special needs” family members, or family members with “disabilities”, face on a day to day basis.
This touches a very special place in my heart because I have a brother who is in his 40′s who is a special needs adult. The memories from his past life are a mixed bag that contains many different emotions. Maybe, over time, I’ll share some of those things with you, and you can share your situations if you’ve “been there” in comments here, if you like.
For now, may I just say that it is wonderful to see that someone is bringing this issue to the forefront on a national level! After just finishing spending several years helping my family and brother by researching how to best meet my brother’s future needs, I have learned and seen a lot, and there is a lot of need in this area.
My brother, John, is in his 40′s, he has a delightful disposition, and a wonderful smile, because my Mom, who will be 80 in a couple of weeks, has been devoted to him and his care. John cannot talk, he can walk, but not easily, he can’t hear in one ear, and can only hear a bit in the other. All of this from a bout with Spinal Meningitis when he was a baby, while we were on vacation as a family at my Grandparents.
After the doctors realized the damage that had been done to my 6 month old baby brother from this illness that kept him in the hospital for most of the summer, and often with a 50/50 chance of living, they told my mother that it would be best if she just put him in an institution, that he would never amount to anything. That was not to be, and because of it, my brother was an active member of our family for his whole life. He is capable of caring for many of his own personal needs, getting a bowl of cereal, vacuuming, dressing himself, so many little helpful things that would never have happened had he been raised in an institution. There is a lot deep inside my brother that you see in his eyes that may never come out until we can talk to one another in heaven when all things are made new…what a day that will be!
Recently, after a lot of work and even more prayer, we were able to move my brother into a Christian group home, the one that we hoped and prayed he would live in, and he is happy there. Best of all, he doesn’t live far from all of us.
Was it always an easy road? Far from it, but it is through the challenges in life that we learn the most, isn’t it?
With Mother’s Day coming this month, my thoughts turn toward my mother, as if they aren’t there often already. She is a VERY special woman, and has lived a remarkable life. I will do a tribute to her around Mother’s Day but for today, I’m remembering how much influence she has had me as far as my love for attracting and watching birds at the feeder. This weekend was especially exciting because we had a rare site, a Rose Breasted Grosbeak, we captured this picture quickly through the screen, but I think you can see him. As it turns out, he has been coming every day since, we’ll see how long it lasts. That brings me to a memory about another mother, my Grandmother. It was at her bird feeder in New England that I saw my first Rose Breasted Grosbeak as a child, such a special memory that the name of the bird has never left my memory.
I’m sure there will be other Mom memories between now and mother’s day. To see other things about my Mom, click on “Mom” under categories.
The weather has been beautiful the past few days, the sun is shining and it has been warm this week, earlier than usual this year. So today I went out and purchased a flat of Petunias to put in my hanging planters, and old wooden bucket that I use as a planter next to the front door, and planter on the deck.
Whenever I garden, I think of my Mom. She loved gardening, and still does though it is a little harder for her to work in the garden these days. She still always has something growing in her gardens, and something starting in the house under her “plant lights” on shelves.
When we were young children and lived in our home in Nixon/Edison area of NJ, she used as much of the property to garden as she could. In the back, our yard was surrounded by a chain-link fence. Before they decided to put in a shopping center, there were woods behind the fence at the end of the property. When we looked from the house, along the fence on the left was Mom’s rose bush garden. She had beautiful rose bushes, and our job was to go and tap the Japanese Beetles into a little jar that had Kerosene or some such thing in the bottom to kill them.
To the right, she had a wonderful vegetable garden with tomatoes, lettuce, pole beans or bush beans, and other goodies. Next to that, she had Concord Grape vines growing on the fence. And up against the house a honeysuckle vine crept up a trellis. Outside the picture window in the front, she had ivy growing up against the house, and grew Coral Bells and other pretty flowers and bushes.
I was to young when she put in those gardens, I’m sure with help from Dad, to appreciate how much work went into doing this, but I know she loved it, and has given me great memories in the process.
Today my mother and father would have been married for, hmmm, how many years is it now? This picture was taken at their 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration, and the renewing of their vows…it is a touching picture to me…I sat and looked at it some years later on the dresser when I’d sit next to my Dad’s bed when he was bedridden after suffering several strokes over a period of 5 years. It will be 5 years ago in October since Dad passed away, time passes quickly so it still seems like yesterday. I haven’t called my Mom yet, but I’m sure that the day hasn’t gone by without notice, and perhaps some tears. So this day, June 4th, is a special day, full of memories that are bittersweet now. My parents went through a lot, and their marriage is an example of commitment. Living out the words said at many weddings, “for better or for worse”. I thank them for that. Here is a picture of them on their wedding day:
With Mother’s Day coming this month, my thoughts turn toward my mother, as if they aren’t there often already. She is a VERY special woman, and has lived a remarkable life. I will do a tribute to her around Mother’s Day but for today, I’m remembering how much influence she has had me as far as my love for attracting and watching birds at the feeder. This weekend was especially exciting because we had a rare site, a Rose Breasted Grosbeak, we captured this picture quickly through the screen, but I think you can see him. As it turns out, he has been coming every day since, we’ll see how long it lasts. That brings me to a memory about another mother, my Grandmother. It was at her bird feeder in New England that I saw my first Rose Breasted Grosbeak as a child, such a special memory that the name of the bird has never left my memory.